April 1, 2012 ·30 Comments
An interesting link was found in a recent study conducted by Mercenary Corps and funded by the UNDP [Formerly ‘The Bridge to Nowhere Organisation”] titled “A Survey of Candidate Physical Attributes and Political Success in Somaliland.” The researchers first examined previous studies on the trends in voting in this region and factors outside of tribal affiliation (including physical appearance) which influenced voters at the booth. The objective of this study was how to better understand the challenges in a post Arab-Spring Africa and to foster what has for over twenty years been one of the only true democracies in the region.
Lead researcher Rad Neck, an American psychologist flown in for the high profile project explains “Almost immediately on reviewing pictures of the previous elected officials to the highest office in Somaliland, we noted that all seemed to possess fascinating Einstein-sized heads and no other distinguishing or determining features found outside of the normal population. This, in itself, was an interesting observation as head-size also played a role in how senators were selected in ancient Rome.”
The study found that the bigger the head of the presidential candidate, the higher his success rate. A close study of pictures of all previous presidents and the current president of Somaliland voted into office confirmed that all possessed a higher than average head size. Earlier presidents Abdirahman Tur boasted a head diameter of 28.3 inches, with Mohamed Egal boasting a head diameter of 29.1 inches and the current Somaliland President Ahmed Silaanyo boasting a whopping head diameter of 31.2 inches. The average size of an adult male head in Somaliland is between 22-24 inches, which falls within the global norm. Not factored into the equation as an anomaly was former president Dahir Riyale, with an average head diameter of 23 inches. The researchers felt that he should be left out of the observation due to the wide allegations of electoral fraud that plagued his swearing in to office.
The three-month study also led to another startling discovery; the Somali word for president literally means “Big-Head” and led to speculation that perhaps some voters in rural areas (80% of voters) were confused when presented with the candidates and perhaps thought they were being asked to vote ‘Who Has The Biggest Head?’. Rad explains “We at first wanted to explore the psychology behind voting for the person with the most real estate on their head when by an off-chance we discovered through a local who was assisting us on the project that the word for president could also mean ‘Huge-Head’, ‘Big-Head’ or ‘Massive-Head’… We found this peculiar and decided to explore who the other candidates were and whether or not this could be the explanation to our observation. Before this we were following a theory that perhaps the local population associated a bigger head with more brain processing power?” [Ad sic]
In the most recent election held in 2010, the current president ran for election against a small-headed Eng. Faisal Warabe of the UCID Party and an even smaller headed incumbent Dahir Rayaale of the UDUB Party and won in a landslide victory. According to a theory developed during the study, some researchers suggest that Mr. Warabe’s UCID party would’ve fared better at the polls had they selected his running mate to lead the party as he boasted a substantially bigger head than the party Chairman. He even made it into the current government.
After the initial findings of this study, Rad Neck is looking to expand on his findings and is working on a second study following the current aspiring candidates. After closely following the political candidates more closely, he’s already making predictions on who he feels has the upper-hand according to his theory.
“The three main candidates at this point are an ex-minister, the chairman of the ruling party and the Speaker of the Parliament. The ex minister of interior has an average sized head, and the chairman of the ruling party has a below average sized head and the Speaker of the Parliament posses a head that I think will make him not only the front-runner but the clear winner in the election. Our initial findings in the second phase of our research are that his party indeed has the most followers and is poised to win the election and I can only say that our study leads us to not conclude any differently” Rad states with a big smile on his face.
By Sloof Lirpa of the Turkish Gazette
Sloof Lirpa writes for The Turkish Gazette and freelances for various media agencies.
This story is hoax, SomalilandPress Editorial just wanted to see your reactions. Happy April Fools guys! There is no such thing as Turkish Gazette and the “reporter” Sloof Lirpa is actually April Fools written backwards.