Published On: Sun, Apr 1st, 2012

Recent Study Confirms Link between Physical Features of Somaliland Presidential Candidates and Success at the Polls.

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An interesting link was found in a recent study conducted by Mercenary Corps and funded by the UNDP [Formerly ‘The Bridge to Nowhere Organisation”] titled “A Survey of Candidate Physical Attributes and Political Success in Somaliland.” The researchers first examined previous studies on the trends in voting in this region and factors outside of tribal affiliation (including physical appearance) which influenced voters at the booth. The objective of this study was how to better understand the challenges in a post Arab-Spring Africa and to foster what has for over twenty years been one of the only true democracies in the region.

Lead researcher Rad Neck, an American psychologist flown in for the high profile project explains “Almost immediately on reviewing pictures of the previous elected officials to the highest office in Somaliland, we noted that all seemed to possess fascinating Einstein-sized heads and no other distinguishing or determining features found outside of the normal population. This, in itself, was an interesting observation as head-size also played a role in how senators were selected in ancient Rome.”

The study found that the bigger the head of the presidential candidate, the higher his success rate. A close study of pictures of all previous presidents and the current president of Somaliland voted into office confirmed that all possessed a higher than average head size. Earlier presidents Abdirahman Tur boasted a head diameter of 28.3 inches, with Mohamed Egal boasting a head diameter of 29.1 inches and the current Somaliland President Ahmed Silaanyo boasting a whopping head diameter of 31.2 inches. The average size of an adult male head in Somaliland is between 22-24 inches, which falls within the global norm. Not factored into the equation as an anomaly was former president Dahir Riyale, with an average head diameter of 23 inches. The researchers felt that he should be left out of the observation due to the wide allegations of electoral fraud that plagued his swearing in to office.

The three-month study also led to another startling discovery; the Somali word for president literally means “Big-Head” and led to speculation that perhaps some voters in rural areas (80% of voters) were confused when presented with the candidates and perhaps thought they were being asked to vote ‘Who Has The Biggest Head?’. Rad explains “We at first wanted to explore the psychology behind voting for the person with the most real estate on their head when by an off-chance we discovered through a local who was assisting us on the project that the word for president could also mean ‘Huge-Head’, ‘Big-Head’ or ‘Massive-Head’… We found this peculiar and decided to explore who the other candidates were and whether or not this could be the explanation to our observation. Before this we were following a theory that perhaps the local population associated a bigger head with more brain processing power?” [Ad sic]

In the most recent election held in 2010, the current president ran for election against a small-headed Eng. Faisal Warabe of the UCID Party and an even smaller headed incumbent Dahir Rayaale of the UDUB Party and won in a landslide victory. According to a theory developed during the study, some researchers suggest that Mr. Warabe’s UCID party would’ve fared better at the polls had they selected his running mate to lead the party as he boasted a substantially bigger head than the party Chairman. He even made it into the current government.

After the initial findings of this study, Rad Neck is looking to expand on his findings and is working on a second study following the current aspiring candidates. After closely following the political candidates more closely, he’s already making predictions on who he feels has the upper-hand according to his theory.

“The three main candidates at this point are an ex-minister, the chairman of the ruling party and the Speaker of the Parliament. The ex minister of interior has an average sized head, and the chairman of the ruling party has a below average sized head and the Speaker of the Parliament posses a head that I think will make him not only the front-runner but the clear winner in the election. Our initial findings in the second phase of our research are that his party indeed has the most followers and is poised to win the election and I can only say that our study leads us to not conclude any differently” Rad states with a big smile on his face.

By Sloof Lirpa of the Turkish Gazette
Sloof Lirpa writes for The Turkish Gazette and freelances for various media agencies.

NOTE:
This story is hoax, SomalilandPress Editorial just wanted to see your reactions. Happy April Fools guys! There is no such thing as Turkish Gazette and the “reporter” Sloof Lirpa is actually April Fools written backwards.

  • Yusuf

    In the first glimpse I thought this was crazy idea and waste of sources and time, but when I read further, I got the farce behind the whole thing. It is really funny more than anything else.

  • Ahmed

    This must be another April fools day coverage from SomalilandPRess

  • osman5

    It's a normal human reaction to say a bigger head means bigger brain. I don't think this survey was done as legit as claimed because it only emphasized president Sillanyo has bigger head than his predecessors.
    which part of Sillanyo's anatomy will they examine next? this sounds a bit silly.

    Osman Qaal

  • Concerned Lander

    These researchers should be careful lest the current President takes offense. They could end up getting locked up without trial for 'insulting the President' like Buur Madow currently is. Remember when we used to complain when the old President did such things?

  • I Jama

    What head size was Former President Bush junior and senior? That can shead light on the whole size matters… he he

  • amal

    loool funny research; it doesn't seem reliable at all. We don't even notice their head sizes, so how can this have any influence on the public vote? Unless the head size has an effect on the leaders themselves. Maybe bigger head means more determination or ambition for leadership which can influence what they do that can attract voters. Well anything is possible.

  • mohamed cheers

    April fool fantasy
    Cheers.

  • MsSomaliland

    April Fools..lol good one!

  • Mustafe

    Hambalyo Somalilandpress, wallaahi waan qoslay dhaw jeer…anigoo xanaaqsan oo isleh war kuwan Racial Pseudoscientist-ka ku tuf email dheer ayyaan gartay in mar dambe in April Fool ay tahay……loool…good one.

  • saadmu

    FIFO of accounting method: Like fooling calculating component for foolish people. The first 10 persons answered in the scale are most foolish persons.

    No financial amount of money matters involving here for Dahabshiil company. just release Buur Madow and others who locked up without trial for 'insulting the current President.

  • ComeAgain

    Si lanyo to be sure is a much better looking man than si yaad, riyaale and abdullahi yusuf and shariif is well butt ugly!

    • hasan ali

      When it comes to leadership people They don’t like a chup who look like beauty pageant,by The way silanyo look like a truck driver.

  • hasan ali

    s/l press should not brought up This sort of nonsence,you could offend Other

    people whether your brain is small or big in size That does not mean if you have larger brian That your smart,well april fools day it’s westren joke but They don’t offend people This’s african

    journalism.

    • MsSomaliland

      Hasan Ali get a sense of humor dude.. ..since when did Somalies become 'politicaly correct' ..that in itself aya Aprilfools ah lol..

      • hasan ali

        Mssomaliland, i do have sence of humor infact They call me hasan “farxaan” in my area,making jokes april fools it’s commen all over The world,They could pictup a million different jokes & write Them probable The writer was chewing mire,how about x leaders in your
        neck of The wood it could offend Them This sort of comments.

  • Hargeisawi-In-London

    Somalilandpress's April Fools prank on its readers!

  • amal

    Candidates with lil heads can relax now; they still have a chance at the election after all.
    At least this is just a joke but how about the study that claims taller people are possibly more intelligent than shorter people. Now that is a real bad news for short people, just kidding.

  • Feysal

    Excellent April Fools parody. Good job SLP, you made my day!

  • abdirahman

    this is funny article with research-based hilarious facts, I really laughed at it , it is an odd observation, anyway. do the clanish voters care about the size of the heads?

    • http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100003406025271 Saiful

      to people in a forum held in Jaffna that If poclie powers are given to Tamil province now It will act as another para military. But what I commented was seriously criticized. The bloody elitist scoundrel living in Europe and USA wish to make another fight in Sri Lanka. Because their children will be never affected .Do you agree or not?Regards,Bharthipan

  • Gobaad

    It is not an April fool, folks. It is though a true psychoanalysis and a type of profiling individuals and political figures. It is strange for us muslims to believe, but normally used by western psychologists.

  • barwaaqo

    ALLA MAXAAN QOSLAY. The current Somaliland President Ahmed Silaanyo boasting a whopping head diameter of 31.2 inches. Faysal cali waraabe Allaa u maqan, small-headed Eng. Faisal Warabe of the UCID Party. Is this a joke or do they really measured their heads?

  • Mohamd

    Madaxweyne = Biggest head :)

  • Yusuf

    I don't know the intention behind this piece, but most of you are taken on the April fool free ride, when it was actually posted on March 30th. Anyways I admit it is hilarious, but it would have made more sense if it was posted on April 1st.

    • Feysal

      Read the reporter's name [Sloof Lirpa] backwards.

  • Saddam

    Top class joke i liked it. Rural areas were confused perhaps they were being asked to vote for the candidate with biggest head(madaxweyne).

  • AllaWaanQoslaay

    Top Class! Still laughing my behind off!

    Here's my analysis:

    The author is not only funny but providing some excellent political commentary by pointing out just how useless some of these 'projects' the NGOs take on are.

    Also, as noted above, I think the illegal locking up of Buur Madoowbe without trial is why the author decided to have a go at all of the previous presidents.

    Well done!

    Keep up the good work SL Press!

    Whoever this author is can now become a member of a future cabinet since making fun of the incumbent president is all it takes to become a minister nowadays. Next time add a cartoon!

  • LMAO

    Everybody bring your measuring tapes out… Could you be the next president of Somaliland?

  • Naliye

    A recent study in somaliland LOL

  • fadal ahmed

    kkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

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